Laurel A. Basbas, Ph.D.

New vision, new mindset, new lenses, new language, new neurons. What do these have in common? Well, obviously "newness." Most of us get excited about the idea of new, yet ironically we tend to resist change. I saw a billboard once that proclaimed, "We are all for progress, it's just change we don't like!" But still, new seems to offer a promise, something better, something hopeful. 

So how else are these terms similar?  What is the promise, the better? Well, psychology, neuroscience, and the Bible offer us the opportunity to see with new eyes, to develop new mindsets, to speak a better language—which can in turn create an improved life, so we can live with vision and purpose.  All three suggest we can be transformed by renewing our thoughts—we can react differently (more kindly, more thoughtfully, more intentionally) because we see proactively rather than reacting from our old, unexamined and dysfunctional patterns. We can develop new neuronal networks in a positive direction. We can see, think, and act from a more loving, wiser place within us. 

Psychology teaches us how to overcome the old, deeply entrenched negativity for more positive, loving, relational mindsets and behavior. Neuroscience teaches us that our brains can be renewed, retrained and reformed. We call that neuroplasticity. The Bible promises that we can die to the old and become new—alive to love, faith and hope. Who doesn't want all this positive possibility? Well, for the few who don't, this hope is not for them.  

But this hope is for me, and I hope it is for you as well. We don't need to stay stuck—entrenched in our old, and often miserable ways of being. So what is all this newfangled mind renewing, transformational stuff anyhow? Is it for real? Is it magic or wishful thinking? Or is there some truth and science in it? The answer is yes! It is real, it is scientific, and it is Biblical.  

It is simply profound, though not necessarily easy. Look at the first sentence again. What else do you notice? I want to call your attention to the fact that it requires dedication, an intentionality, and a learning curve. Learning a new language happens best when you practice daily, immersing yourself in it, in various forms: book study, conversation, listening to it in movies, songs, practicing exercises with sight and sound recognition, playing games... Get the idea? In neuroscience terms, "what is wired together, fires together." This means that the neural pathways you etch into your brain by repetition are what become habitual. Therefore, our old dysfunctional thoughts, attitudes, moods, and behaviors are bad habits that can be broken. They are like deeply dug irrigation ditches (I like to joke that they are irritation ditches) that can be filled in (obliterated) so new lines of thinking can be etched into the grey matter of our brains.  

So you want habitual joy, peace, patience, love? To mix metaphors, we can dig new mental ditches by choosing to practice those values, exercising them repeatedly in various situations. These are like mental gymnastics we need to repeat consistently until those muscles can do the heavy lifting—so those muscles don't fail us in the toughest of challenges. So we can fire up the happy neurons in a stressful situation.  

Easier said than done? By all means. My own experience with shifting my mindset—putting on new lenses—is that the learning curve can feel really steep at first. I catch myself slipping backward into the old, easily. It takes a persistence, a determination, a daily intentionality to finally live from the new vision. Charles R. Swindoll (Insight for Living Ministries) called it “three steps forward and two steps back,” a kind of see-saw pattern. Jagged. Messy. Like when I determine to see the positive in every situation, to thank God for every struggle because there is a lesson in it—some great revelation and beneficial character change—I find myself slipping into a grumpy, moody, frustratingly dark place before I miraculously evolve (thanks to the inner working of the Holy Spirit) into the victory of being established firmly in the new and improved perspective. Back to the metaphor of learning a new language—this requires steady, consistent practice. But if you stay with it, you'll wake up someday realizing you've been dreaming in your new language! Then you will know, it was worth the effort! 

Immersed and transformed! That was the rich and wonderful experience I shared with the precious women who attended the Ambassador Church’s Women’s Retreat the first weekend in May. I was given the privilege of being the speaker for this event, and had come to really like and appreciate the women who were planning it; Breezy, Lisa, Eveline, Cindy and Nicole. (I’ve known Breezy for 5 years; enjoying lively discussions, and driving her nuts begging her to sing for me with her stunning voice.) Still, I was blessed beyond my expectations as I spent more time with these ladies.

The retreat was held at a lovely resort in gorgeous La Quinta, a city on the floor of the Coachella Valley, and almost completely surrounded by the Santa Rosa Mountain range. The atmosphere and beauty was reminiscent of Santa Fe, New Mexico, where photographers flock to take photos in the unique lighting that is famously, “magical." 

Speaking of magical! The retreat was that. The girls obviously put their hearts and imaginations into creating a fun, stimulating, safe-place-to-be-real, vibrant experience. The worship was beautiful, each song perfectly chosen, much like a soundtrack that undergirds and amplifies scenes in a brilliantly constructed film. Except it was better than that because it immersed us in the beauty and presence of God! His presence and love was palpable.  

Something else I greatly appreciated was their sincere desire to offer a transformative experience to anyone who wanted one. This was not just some form of entertainment, performance or weekend escape. The activities were arranged to foster genuine connections, conversations, and deep sharing of hearts. Wow. I witnessed that happening, and I participated in it. Many of the women were drawn out~sharing their needs, their fears, their hopes, and their dreams. The love, kindness, and support freely flowing among the women was amazing. In this kind of atmosphere, hearts can be transparent and transformed. Tears, smiles, laughter, and healing filled the weekend. Wounded hearts found comfort, burdens were lifted, hopes were revived.

The theme of the retreat was from Romans 12:2: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NET Bible), and from 2 Corinthians 3:17,18: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (ESV). We discussed how this transformation can take place, and how our minds can be renewed. We explored how we can be freed from old, negative, dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors we all become entrapped in, and how to develop new ways of perceiving (our minds being renewed) so we can live in wholeness, in God’s will.

I told on myself a bit in the first session; how God revealed to me my utter brokenness so I could acknowledge it, and lay it at His feet in exchange for His life-giving truth. I shared that the church in Laodicea (Revelation 3:14-18) believed they were “rich, prosperous, in need of nothing.” Educated, wealthy, and independent, they didn’t realize that they were “blind, naked, wretched, and miserable,” as Jesus described them. The point is that as we acknowledge our brokenness, we qualify to be healed and blessed! What an astounding spiritual exchange; I surrender my weakness, failings, dysfunctional attitudes, beliefs, and lies, in exchange for God’s healing and freeing truth. My “badness” gets transformed by His goodness as I focus my eyes and heart on Him, and immerse myself in His presence. Sounds like a really good deal, except it ultimately costs us everything. We have to surrender all of our darkness and dysfunction for His goodness. Hmm, still sounds like a great plan to me! 

We spoke honestly of the internal conflicts we all face between the parts of ourselves that want to be transformed, and the parts that resist change. We acknowledged that sometimes we even cling to fear, resentments, and unforgiveness. Why? Because in some ways we think they empower us, protect us, or are so much a part of our identity that we are afraid to let them go and be changed. We agreed this is a life-long journey, and well worth taking the next step towards becoming whole. Many of us did take a big step forward that weekend.   

So I thank the beautiful women from Ambassador Church in Brea, Ca. for inviting me to join their journey. They said my speaking was “perfect for what they needed," and they were perfect for me. I loved being with them in that transformative experience, immersed in God’s love, and the love of His precious women. 

The agonies and ecstasies of the holiday season! That was the theme of my December Message. We focused on developing a perspective of joy—even in the midst of stress and conflict. We attended to the positive, celebratory, and meaningful, rather than submerging into the negative. We exercised intentionality in spreading that joy. In this post, at January's end, I want to look at New Year intentions. How are they going for you?

For me, Integrity has captured my attention. That word has bubbled up to the forefront for 2015. It's a theme for this new year. I hope it can become a New Year's intention for everyone. Integrity is about being honest, authentic, real, undivided, whole and uncontaminated. It is about pursuing a moral compass, uprightness, rejecting falseness, and having an internal consistency.  It is vital whether we are talking about the quality of life, the quality of a football game, or the quality of food (keep reading and that will make sense). It is the way to health, wholeness and love.

Last week, leaving Peet's coffee, I met a man whose business name includes the word integrity. I hope that is sincere, I thought, and not just marketing strategy.  

If you watch the news, you have seen the controversy around the teams in this year's Super Bowl; the accusations that the New England Patriots "cheated." Did they lack integrity in playing the game? Many people are upset, outraged, even devasted by this. Understandably. We humans have a deeply innate need to have trustworthy, reliable relationships, heroes, parent figures, models—people we look up to and admire, or even emulate. We need people of integrity in our lives. Despite our misbegotten attempts to be independent, we are created a communal folk. Our ancestors were tribal, and if you look closely, we really still are. What we choose affect others, especially our families and communities. If we lie, cheat, or behave selfishly, it impacts the many, not just the one. And so, much of the world is watching this fiasco. 

Did they cheat? Now, I realize that a lot of money rides on this issue, but more importantly, many hearts and minds are affected. I am not judging or even offering an opinion about the New England Patriots. I am pointing out the incredible importance of living in integrity, living in authenticity and harmony with our inner core and with one another. 

"Pictures, words and descriptions are meaningless without integrity. To us integrity matters."

This motto is displayed on the web page, and on the side of a van advertising three wonderful restaurants owned by the Firok Shield family. They own our favorite restaurant, da Giovanni, in gorgeous Carmel-by-the-sea, in Central California. 

Theirs is a great statement. People can say anything, promise the moon, impress with lavish marketing strategies. But is it real? Do they deliver? Do they have integrity? This restaurant team means what they say, and they back up their pictures and promises by delivering better than expected. While the food is incredibly delicious (great quality, creative offerings—well worth our 8 hour drive to get to them!) their hospitality and graciousness is the most endearing.

I spoke to Jennifer, who was driving the van with the motto prominently painted on the side. Apparently she manages all three of their Carmel restaurants. She was so humble and pleasant, we didn't find out until later of her position. Her description of the family—their humility, graciousness, and therefore the pleasure of working for them—was inspiring! She told us that Mr. Shield, now in his 70's, works as hard as he expects of any employee. Yet still he finds time to greet his guests and serve a gift of dessert wine! We visit only once a year—yet Firok, his daughters and staff, have always managed to make us feel like family. 

Kindness, graciousness, friendliness and integrity—what valuable qualities. Those are the special ingredients that make our da Giovanni culinary experience so memorable. They are the ingredients that make life and relationships exceptional. When they are lacking, we all suffer. When they are present, life is good! 

Now back to the New England Patriots. I hope we discover that there was no malicious intent. But either way, their debacle serves as an example. How far-reaching is the impact of our choices, and our characters. Even those choices and decisions we think are in private, ultimately impact our families, our communities, our world. My hope for 2015 is that integrity is found in greater abundance in all our lives, and in this tribe of humanity to which we belong. I am making it an even greater priority this year—to live in integrity, and to support it—wherever, and in whomever I find it! I hope you will join me.